


Don't Leave Me Behind

by ImmortalPanda



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 13:23:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14426325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalPanda/pseuds/ImmortalPanda
Summary: I'm done...just let it be over....just end it all...These were my final thoughts as I lay in my bathtub, fully clothed...holding a razor blade. I was done living this miserable existence. I was done being pitied and looked down on. Done. D-O-N-E. I placed the blade over my wrists and dug deep. The blood tainted the water. I lie back in the tainted water, waiting...waiting...I closed my eyes and relaxed.





	1. Chapter 1

__

I rose from my bed, slowly, feeling for the table next to it and pulling myself out. I stood groggily, unmoving. I listened. Quiet, so quiet, nothing. It's always nothing. I felt for the bathroom door, running my hand along the wall like always...my small body shivered at the cold tiles. It's always cold, it's always dark. Not bothering with the lights I drag myself to the bathtub and fill it with water. 'Ayu...I'll be going on a long business trip starting tomorrow. Your home tutor will be here at 9 am sharp. I'll be back in three weeks.' I stared at nothing as I recalled the words of my mother after she said that she packed her suitcase and went out, no hugs, no goodbyes, no 'I love you's'. Nothing. Always nothing.

I turned the tap off and went to the counter, I opened a drawer and pulled it out...I felt the blade of the razor, cutting my thumb in the process, blood oozed down my thumb lazily. I walked back to the bathtub and got in...fully clothed. The water was cold, my body shivered unhappily. I thought about that...what is happiness? Have I ever once experienced that in this short life of 16 years? No, I decided. I had not. I sat in the cold water until it became lukewarm. Listening, waiting, staring at nothing, because there was nothing to see, I was blind, and I was done. That was it, those three words expressed my entire life, my entire being.

I was done.

Tired of being pitied, tired of being looked after, tired of being ignored. I was done.   
D-O-N-E. I grabbed the razor tightly in my hand and pushed it into my wrist. It didn't hurt, my body was numb from the cold water, my skin ice. The blood oozed down my wrist slowly, ever so slowly. As I let my wrist down it sunk into the water, and soon the water was tainted, with my blood. I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. I could feel my life draining out of me. I lay back in the water and waited.

And waited.

And for once, it wasn't anything.

It was bliss.

It was over.

...

Or so I thought.

\----------------------------------------------------------

I was conscious again, I did not move. My body was in a different position and I could feel a grainy substance under me coating the hard ground. Dirt. I felt a strong breeze around me, it was warm, tussling my long shoulder length hair. Where was I? I listened. I could hear the rustling of paper, no not paper, it sounded rougher...and I was outside and the wind was blowing...leaves? The chirping of birds singing merrily. And two sets of footsteps coming in my direction. I stayed perfectly still, laying in my current position on the ground and closed my useless eyes. "I just don't get why we can't have a break...Pain works us ragged." A man with a deep gruff voice sighs. His partner remained silent but his footsteps were there. They stopped a foot from me. "Poor kid, wonder what happened to him." The gruff voice came closer. 'Just go away.' I wished. Then I felt arms under me. 'NO!' I gasped and immediately started to struggle as a pair of arms easily restrained me in a princess carry. "Oh, so he was alive after all..." The gruff voice chuckled. "L-let me go!" I demanded, pounding on the chest of my captor. He merely ignored me. After hours of traveling, me struggling and screaming the whole way we stop. What the hell is going on? "Kisame." A deep, smooth voice calls from right above me, I can feel the vibrations in his strong chest as he spoke the single word. "Yeah, yeah." The other man replied and a grating noise was heard. The ground rumbled and I was carried into a cooler area. I shivered, hating the cold as it welcomed me like an old friend. He walked down a corridor judging by the length of uninterrupted steps. I could hear voices echoing ahead, some loud some barely audible. They increased in volume as we moved in their direction. Suddenly all conversation stopped. "We're back." Kisame's voice chirped. "Who is that, un?" A masculine voice called. "He's covered in blood." An extremely gravelly voice grunted. So that was the grime I'm covered in...a combination of mud and my own blood. I felt at my wrist for the cut I had made and found it. A wide gash pulsing with pain. Suddenly my wrist was grabbed and examined I'm guessing. "Kakuzu." The man holding me murmured again. "I'll stitch him up after you bathe him." Another masculine deep voice retorted. I felt him move again and in a different direction it did not take long for him to reach his desired location, he opened a door, shifting my weight and closed it behind him. A squeaking noise, and running water. I was set down on a stool and my clothes were removed, no matter how much I protested. I was forced into the steaming water to which I flinched. There was a long silence, then something was put into my hand, a cloth. "Bathe yourself." I was instructed. I did so, very clumsily. Soon the cloth was yanked out of my hands and I was being scrubbed down. "Hey! Easy! That hurts!" I yanked my arm out of his reach covering the delicate skin that was being scrubbed off with my good hand. There was a silence, then a hand slowly touched my shoulder and I was being scrubbed again, more gently this time.

Once this weird bath time was over I was clothed in what I could guess was a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of very comfy shorts. They were so soft. I held still as I was sat down in a chair and I could hear the shuffling of a man and the even breathing of the one that brought me here. The shuffling man was Kakuzu, and I think he was going to fix my wrist. I felt something touch my hand, another hand, but it was not a normal one, the skin was rough in patches, lines, stitches. I hissed as a liquid was poured over my wrist and tried to yank away. Another pair of hands restrained me and held my arm still. Then something pricked my skin and soon I felt the painful process of being stitched up, I screamed of course, through gritted teeth. After that was over the disinfectant was reapplied and I was released by Kakuzu, but the other set held me up as I was very tired. I was once again picked up. Through my tired haze, I could hear them talking as they walked with me. "So, why did you pick up a suicidal brat?" The gruff voice of Kakuzu echoed from beside me. There was no response. He huffed and walked away with one last warning. "Pain won't let him stay here, you know that Itachi."

I stayed silent while I was being carried by this Itachi person. I started thinking of ways to escape this place. "Can I call my mom?" I croaked, my voice raspy from disuse and screaming. Still silence. I hated the silence but I did not want to be the only one to break it. I started struggling again to no avail. "Just let me go! What do you want with me?! Huh?!" I screamed. Tears started to fall as I thought about how this stranger might treat me, and how I didn't die and how I ended up in some forest path in the first place. What was going on? I was set on my feet and I heard something click and a squeal of protest as something heavy swung open. A door. "Get in." Was all that was said. I hesitated and slowly felt for the wall and the opening. A hand took my shoulder, gently and pushed me in the right direction, guiding me. I was lead inside the room and to a place to sit, a bed. I froze when I felt the sheets under me. I could feel a cold sweat beading up on my back, my hands, my forehead. I swallowed my spit uncomfortably and waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened. Instead, I heard a clatter across the room and then silence. I scooted my body backward on the bed until I felt a wall at my back. Then I curled up my knees to my chin and crossed my arms over them. I refused to fall asleep while this man was in this room. I waited for hours on end. In darkness, in silence. The ever-present silence.


	2. Itachi

     I woke up some hours later, still curled into a ball against the wall, but I felt the warmth of a blanket on me, hugging me. I waited and listened to see if anyone else was in the room. I could not hear anything but that man, Itachi, was very quiet anyway. So I settled for a "Hello? Are you still there?" No response. I slowly felt for the end of the bed, taking the blanket with me to shield me from the blasted cold. I slowly rose from the bed, feeling with my bare feet for any obstacles in the floor while my hands searched for tables and such. I didn't know what my plan was to be honest, I just didn't want to sit in a cold dark room waiting for something to happen. I felt around the room, looking for the door, instead, my hands found something rounded and smooth, soft to the touch. Trying to figure out what it was I felt around more until I felt two indentations, a protrusion in the center, soft cushions to each side of two elongated raised ridges, oh no...Was I feeling someone's face? I quickly jerked away. "If you were here you should have said something. I grumbled, my hands tucked against my body, worried at the retaliation I'd get from being so overly familiar. No response. I clenched my teeth and walked towards what I thought was a wall, I tripped over a rug or some sort of cloth on the floor. My whole body swung forwards and I was sure I was about to faceplant, but my movements stopped as I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist, catching me. I was quiet for a second. Falling is very scary for a blind person, you become very disoriented of your whereabouts and your mental map you build of your surroundings is obliterated, sucking it all back into the dark unknown. I shivered, squeezing onto the sleeve of the man who caught me. I heard a sigh and then yelped as I was lifted and placed back on the bed. "Hungry?" A deep, smooth, even voice called, the voice of the man from yesterday, Itachi. I thought about denying the fact that I was hungry, but just then my stomach voice an angry complaint. I felt my cheeks warm and slowly and curtly nodded. Just the slightest nod of my head. He was quiet for a second, but his hands were still touching my arms. He pulled the blanket tighter around me and let go. "Wait here, don't try to leave the room, you will only get lost and most of the people who live here are not friendly." I thought about what he said and nodded. I heard him start to walk away and called out quietly, "When can I go home?" Another silence, a long one. "I don't know." And the door clicked. I returned to my balled up position and thought about what he said. I wanted to cry, but I had to pull it together and figure out my situation. First of all, how am I not dead? I was sure I did what that man said to do, the voice chat I had with a man who wanted to help me find a way to free myself of my suffering, my loneliness, my pain. His alias had been weird, some anime name, Madara. Anyways I did exactly as he said so why am I not dead? Next is why did I wake up in the middle of a forest dirt path? Why did Itachi decide to pick me up and save me? He said the other people here are not friendly, will they hurt me if they see me? I shivered at the thought, a fuzzy recollection formed in my mind, sounds, feelings, smells, tastes, but no images. The recollection involved a man yelling and a woman screaming, and pain, my body felt too small, hurt too much. The heavy smell of iron filled the room, I shut away the memory and cringed into the wall and into myself. After a while I calmed down and went back to my safe space in my head, the numbness I force upon myself when things get too hard to bare. After a while, I came out of my numbness to a voice. "-hey. Hey." A gentle shaking of my shoulder, I move my head to the direction the voice is coming from. A clattering sounded to my right as an arm gently wrapped around me, pulling me into only what could be considered an awkward embrace. I was lifted from the bed and place on to a wooden surface with a wooden back, a chair. I felt a surface in front of me which I assumed was a table. Something flattered in front of me. "Can you eat on your own?" He asked me. I clenched my teeth and huffed indignantly. "What is it?" I asked, trying to stay calm at the fact that I didn't know if I could and I really didn't want to ask him to spoon feed me. "Hamburger." I groaned internally. My stomach growled again. I really wanted to.eat it on my own, but Japanese hamburger doesn't usually include a bun and such. It requires a fork. I felt around the plate and found chopsticks. Did he not think about how hard it would be for me to eat this? Wait, maybe he did, I don't know anything about the guy...he could be some kind of pervert. I frowned, coming to a decision. I quickly picked up the hamburger with my hand after finding it with the chopsticks and bit into it, the juices coating my hand and face, dripping on to my clothes. This was so embarrassing, being messy like this, but to.hell with it if I let this pervert feed me. I finished the food, and as I downed a glass of water with the hand that was not dirty my other hand was grabbed and wiped with a cloth, which also wiped my face after I was done drinking, despite my protests. "Give me the shirt, you can have another one of mine." He said, already lifting up the fabric. I wanted to say no, but I knew the way I had eaten the food that the shirt was not clean. I sighed and let him tug it off me. I waited, shivering as I listened to him rustle in his drawers, my arms curling into my chest for warmth. I knew he could see my bruises, he definitely saw them when he first bathed me. I curled tighter into myself thinking about how I got them. It wasn't my mother who did these, no. It was my caretaker and tutor, whenever my mom left on long business trips my caretaker would come. An elderly woman, still very strong and very cruel. If I couldn't do what she asked me to...I don't want to remember. I shuddered. "Here." A cloth was pushed into my arms and I clumsily put it on. I was silent for a while as he cleaned up and came back. "What are you going to do with me?" I asked finally, worried at the result of my question. Did I really want to know? "I'm going to teach you to use your chakra to properly see and feel your surroundings. It seems like your family did not do that for you." Chakra? I was confused and I'm sure it showed on my face. "What is chakra?" There was a silence, then a sigh. "Looks like I'll be starting from the beginning." A long explanation later I was dumbfounded, soon after reality crashed down on me as I realized I could never go home, because I was not in my own world anymore, I just felt smaller and smaller as the information sunk in.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

A week has passed since I found out I 'wasn't in Kansas anymore'. Itachi has been a patient teacher and a kind one. Everyday he would bring hard to eat meals, and teach me how to eat with the chopsticks without making a mess. I struggled so much, but sometimes when I do it, I feel a warm pat on my head and a "Good job." My face warms thinking about how happy those words actually made me. I had never been praised before. Then when I could eat properly at least half this time we moved to baths, Itachi would still help me but slowly he began to let me do more and more until I could do it myself. By the time the week had ended I could eat and bathe on my own without Itachi's help. I had realized about two days in that I was sleeping in the only bed in Itachi's room and that he had either not slept or lightly slept in the chair at the table. After I realized this I insisted that I take the floor, to which he refused, which led to us just sharing the bed. We were about to go to bed for the day today as well, after working on my sense of feeling of the room. Itachi was trying to teach me to use my chakra, the combination of my spiritual and physical energy, to map out a room without moving. It was not going well. I fell on to.the bed sleepily and Itachi was coming to get in as well, sleeping only in shorts as usual, when there was a knock at the door. I was startled, no one had come to this room for a whole week, I almost forgot that there were other people living here. The door clicked open and I heard Itachi say, "What is it Kisame?" A hushed whisper followed and the conversation moved out the door and out of my hearing range. I moved out of the bed and towards the door. "-mission, you've been given enough time to train the boy. Drop him off somewhere and let's get back to work." My throat tightened. Where the hell would I go? Will he just leave me in the woods somewhere to fend for myself? What do I do? I started panicking, my chest constricting and it became hard to breath, my head started to hurt and the blackness that forever filled my vision began to change. Something, something was wrong. A flash across the blackness, something that was NOT black. I've been told what colors were, what people looked like, felt like, objects and anything else I could soak up about vision, something I thought I would never have. Now in front of the blackness, is a small circiular image. I was too shocked, too shaken to focus on what the image was because of the impossible fact that it was there at all. The headache became a migraine, then felt like my skull was being cracked open. I screamed, cradling my head in my arms as I fell to the floor. I faintly heard the door slam open in the background, a voice calling me, but not my name, he never asked for my name I realized. I blacked out, another circular image appearing of a man with black hair, black eyes, colors I couldn't decribe. The lines of the face were pulled downward, having felt that expression on my own face, I'd guess they were upset. Then it was gone.


End file.
